Undersociality: miscalibrated social cognition can inhibit social connection. Issue 5 (May 2022) - Epley, Nicholas
Abstract : A person's well-being depends heavily on forming and maintaining positive relationships, but people can be reluctant to connect in ways that would create or strengthen relationships. Emerging research suggests that miscalibrated social cognition may create psychological barriers to connecting with others more often. Specifically, people may underestimate how positively others will respond to their own sociality across a variety of social actions, including engaging in conversation, expressing appreciation, and performing acts of kindness. We suggest that these miscalibrated expectations are created and maintained by at least three mechanisms: differential construal, uncertain responsiveness, and asymmetric learning. Underestimating the positive consequences of social engagement could make people less social than would be optimal for both their own and others' well-being. Highlights: Connecting with others increases well-being, but people may be reluctant to reach out due to concerns about how a recipient might respond. Recent research suggests that these concerns may be misplaced: people tend to underestimate how positively others respond to social outreach. Miscalibrated expectations can stem from three mechanisms: people evaluate their own actions in terms of competence but are evaluated by others in terms of warmth (differential construal), anticipate a broader range of outcomes than is actually probable (uncertain responsiveness), and receive less feedback when expectations encourage avoidance (asymmetric learning). These mechanisms can lead people to undervalue several forms of sociality including conversations, expressions of appreciation, and acts of kindness, especially with less familiar others. People may therefore be less social than would be optimal for their well-being.