"I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning": An Autoethnographical Exploration of Biographical Disruption and Reconstruction During Recovery From Prescribed Benzodiazepine Use. (March 2016)

• Record Type: Journal Article
• Authors: Fixsen, Alison M.
• Is Part Of: Qualitative health research. Volume 26:Number 4(2016)
• Page Start: 466
• Page End: 481
• Publication Date: 2016-03
• Subjects: Autoethnography -- diaries / journals -- healing -- recovery -- self-help -- social identity -- stories / storytelling; Health -- Periodicals; Health behavior -- Periodicals; Health -- Research -- Methodology -- Periodicals; Health behavior -- Research -- Methodology -- Periodicals; 610.7205
• DOI: 10.1177/1049732315576496
• Languages: English
• ISSNs: 1049-7323

Abstract

Benzodiazepines are group of drugs used mainly as sedatives, hypnotics, muscle relaxants, and anti-epileptics. Tapering off benzodiazepines is, for some users, a painful, traumatic, and protracted process. In this article, I use an autoethnographic approach, adopting the metaphor of water, to examine heuristically my experience of iatrogenic illness and recovery. I draw on personal journals and blog entries and former users' narratives to consider the particular form of biographical disruption associated with benzodiazepines and the processes involved in identity reconstruction. I emphasize the role of the online community in providing benzodiazepine users such as myself with a co-cultural community through which to share a voice and make sense of our experiences. I explain how the success stories of former users provided me with the hope that I, the "medical victim, " could become the "victor" and in the process construct a new life and fresh identity.